Still Waiting For You
by Ivy Leaves
Summary: They're 28. The timing's all wrong. They've been waiting to say it for years, but when the time is finally right, it may be too late... >> Chapter Six now up!
1. All I Want To Do Is Sleep

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 1: "All I Want To Do Is Sleep"

The house was silent and dark, with moonlight striking the waves that washed the beach in front of it, casting an eerie glow through the glass windowed walls in the front of the house.

Blue eyes flashed towards the clock. 12:04. It was way past her bedtime, but her mother wouldn't hear. Small hands reached for the telephone, blond ringlets swinging as she bent.

Kara was only five, turning six next September, but she knew how to use a telephone and she knew what her mother needed.

Dial tone. Her fingers with the tiny nails painted purple pressed the buttons lightly and slowly. 1…8…0…0…5…5…5…4…5…2…6…Ring. Ring.

"Hello, this is Dr. Amanda Smithsonian and you are on R90.5, the premier hotline for talking about your relationship problems. You are on air!"

"Hi, I'm Kara." Her small voice rang out as she tried not to bite on her nails.

"How old are you, Kara?" Dr. Smithsonian asked suspiciously.

"Five."

"Honey, this is a hotline about relationships. Do you have relationship problems in kindergarten?" the doctor inquired, sounding slightly annoyed at having a child call her hotline.

"My mommy does," whispered Kara. "My mommy needs a boyfriend."

Dr. Smithsonian laughed. Now this was getting somewhere. "What about your daddy?"

"I don't know my daddy," Kara confessed, sitting down on the couch. "I'm adopted." Her vocabulary was wide for a girl of her age.

"Well, honey, don't you think your mom should decide if she dates or not?"

"Doctor Smith—Smityso—Smithsonnyanns—"

"You can call me Dr. Amanda," said Dr. Smithsonian. Kara sighed.

"Dr. 'manda, my mommy says she never ever wants to date again. And I don't know why." Her lips quivered in the moonlight. "And I want my mommy to be happy."

"Is your mother there?" Amanda Smithsonian questioned. The small girl looked around.

"I'll go wake her up. Her name's Valerie, but everyone calls her Val. Except me. I call her Mommy."

*

"Mommy, phone for you, phone for you." Kara shook her mother's sleeping form hard. "Mommy, I'm gonna bounce on the bed if you don't get up."

Val rolled over. "Honey, it's midnight. Tell them to leave a message. I really need to sleep."

"But it's a 'mergency!" cried Kara, climbing up onto the bed with its light blue sheets.

"All right, honey, all right." Val sat up and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, this is Dr. Amanda Smithsonian and you are on R90.5, the premier hotline for relationships nationwide."

"And you told my daughter this was an emergency?" Val shouted, growing vexed as she smoothed her blond hair back from her forehead. She had never liked radio call-in shows much.

"She called us, Val," Dr. Amanda told Val.

"Oh, she did, did she?" Val scowled at Kara, who in turn smiled, showing white teeth.

"Val, Kara says you're not happy." This soothing, calm voice was really too much to deal with right now.

"I'm perfectly happy," argued Val, twisting a golden lock absently.

"You only twist your hairs when you're unhappied," Kara shot back. Val gave her a meaningful look.

"Kara thinks you need someone in your life," commented Dr. Amanda.

"I have someone in my life. Her. And I have my career. I don't have time for anything else."

"Have you been hurt, Valerie?" Oh, this woman knew where to bury her swords. "Have you ever loved someone?"

"Yes." Val's throat was choking. Why did she ever teach Kara how to use a telephone? "I have."

"When was that? Did he break up with you?"

"He never knew," Val admitted, her eyes closing with pain. "I never told him."

"Why don't you tell him? You might feel better."

"I haven't seen him for years." Kara climbed onto Val's lap and her mother's arm wrapped around her. "I don't need him. I don't need love."

"You might need it more than you think," said Dr. Amanda. "Why don't you tell him?"

"Possibly. Possibly," repeated Val. Kara looked worriedly at her mother's face contorted in pain. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all.

"Have we helped today, Val?"

"You've certainly enlightened me," Val told her. Kara let a hint of a smile tease her lips.

"Well, we're out of time. Val, call back if you have any other problems."

"I'm sure if I don't, my daughter will," said Val dryly. She hung up the phone and looked at Kara. "You can be very nosy at times."

"Can I sleep in here?" yawned Kara, but before her mother could answer the little blond girl was fast asleep on the pillow.

Val smiled wryly—her daughter might be able to sleep, but she herself wouldn't go to sleep for a long, long while.

in the middle of the night,  
head on my pillow,  
looking like a little ghost  
seems like all of the things  
that you gave your mother  
have all gone up in smoke

Val wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. Tyler Connell sat at his kitchen table, mindlessly stirring his lemon tea. His mother had told him that it induced drowsiness when he was back in seventh grade and an insomniac, but now it wasn't helping. Of course, he was twenty-eight and not twelve, and that was probably what was the matter.

He gave up on trying to go to bed and flicked the switch on the radio.

"And this is Amanda Smithsonian on R90.5, the premier relationships hotline across America. If you just tuned in, we're talking to Val and her five-year-old daughter Kara," the radio said. Tyler shook his head. It had to be a coincidence. Tons of people were called Val.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice replied._ No, no, no, _thought Tyler desperately,_ it's not her. Someone just has a similar voice that's sleep-ridden…_

But no. The more he listened, the more he was absolutely sure that this was indeed Val.

"He never knew," choked Val, her voice filled with pain. "I never told him." Tyler couldn't take it anymore. He reached out and flipped off the radio switch, burying his head in his hands.

This was the worst possible time for him to hear her voice again. The worst possible time imaginable.

*

"Hey, Caitie," Val greeted her best friend while trying to make Kara's breakfast.

"Val! What's up? We haven't talked in two weeks or something!"

"Yeah, I know. The hospital has been really busy and Kara had the flu up until about four days ago," explained Val, holding the phone between her shoulder and head while pouring Kara's cereal.

"Is she better now?"

"Yes. And you won't believe what she did last night." Val got the milk out of the fridge and looked at Kara, who was smiling happily, evidently pleased with herself.

"What?"

"She called Amanda Smithsonian. You know, the radio call-in hotline for relationship problems. And she told her that I had relationship problems." Val covered up the receiver for a moment and spoke to Kara. "Go feed Spot, okay?" Kara nodded and ran off.

"You mean to say you don't?" Caitie's voice came. "You sure fooled me."

"I do, but I don't need a doctor with the last name of a museum to tell me that." Val capped the milk and covered the receiver again. "Kara, breakfast!" she called.

"Val…you need to get over him."

"I don't need to get over anybody," Val informed her brusquely. "I'm perfectly fine. I just need to—do you know his address?"

Caitie cracked up. "Val, you are hopeless."

"Caitie, please…"

"Just a moment."

"Kara, eat your cereal, not Spot's food!"

*

Val looked out the window of the plane sadly, then down at Kara in the seat, sleeping soundly as she sucked her thumb. Val reached out and touched her daughter's blond curls, thinking.

Maybe she was making a mistake. They had started different lives after high school, gone different routes and would never come back to merge on the same path that would take them through life. She might still love him, but it was doubtful that he still loved her.

She shook her head and glanced out the window at the dark sky once more, wanting nothing more than to follow her daughter's actions and sleep—but sleep was out of the question. Her eyes searched the sky and its stars for the answer to the inquiry that wouldn't be answered until the plane touched down and a fist knocked on a wooden door.

And childishly, idiotically, she remembered the long since spoken poem that every kid learned and every child knew by heart…

_Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might…_Her eyelids fell shut._ Let him love me. Please._

in the middle of the night,  
you don't know what I'm thinking,  
but still the stars do sparkle and shine  
seems like all of the time  
our boat was slowly sinking  
you didn't even seem to mind

Tyler was woken with a start from his dozing nap by a sharp rap on the door, followed by the ringing of the doorbell. He slowly and sleepily rose from the couch and walked to the door, twisting the doorknob and pulling the door open.

Only to be face to face with Val.

"Hi, Tyler," she greeted him nervously, biting her lip as she faced him again.

"Val." He was in a distinct state of shock. "Good to see you again." It was better than good, but right now it was so much better that he couldn't take it again.

Val took the golden-haired five-year-old from her hip and placed her on the floor.

"Kara, right?" Tyler greeted the drowsy-looking girl, who nodded while she looked at him with blue eyes. Val looked surprised. "I heard the radio show," he explained. She swallowed, feeling like her throat had turned into sandpaper. "Who's the father?" He winced as soon as the words came from his mouth. "I don't mean—I'm sorry, Val. It's just a surprise. You never told me."

"I haven't talked to you in years, Tyler. I don't see how I could have told you."

"I'm 'dopted," Kara informed him, attaching herself to his leg.

"You are, are you?" Tyler said, grinning as he picked her up. He sobered slightly as he turned to Val. "It's amazing to see you again. You've changed so much."

"I know."

"Come in, why don't you?" Tyler suddenly remembered his manners and pulled the door open further for her. Val smiled and pulled the suitcase in after her, the door closing.

"What's new with you?" she inquired, sitting down on a stool in the kitchen and smiling as Tyler gently put Kara on the counter.

"There's no easy way to say this…"

"What?" Her senses were on alert, wide-awake even though the time change had taken a lot out of her. She had expected him to say "nothing, I'm fine", but that didn't seem to be the case.

"I'm getting married, Val."

Shock. Cold, pure, hard shock that coursed through her veins and left her rigid in the stool, eyes wide. Married. All that senseless hoping and wishing and dreaming had done nothing. He was getting married.

"To whom?" she managed to choke through her lips, which were dry and chapped with surprise.

"Heather. Heather Stillmore." This was a bad dream, a nightmare. It had to be—this was such a surprise. She had not told him about Kara, but she expected him to tell her about Heather._ That was idiotic of me, _thought Val, but it was what she had wanted.

"Oh." The shock was still looming over her like a gray cloud over a white beach on a sunny day.

"You probably want to sleep, though, don't you?" Anything to get off the subject. "I mean, what with the time change and all. The guest room is open…"

Val nodded and followed him up the stairs, picking up Kara as he carried the suitcase. The engagement to Heather was surprising, but not nearly as painful as the other reality:

The man she had fallen in love with hadn't touched her at all.

now all I want to do is sleep  
now all I want to do is sleep  
now all I want to do is sleep

I'm still evil… Well, that was interesting. This is fun to write. I hope you liked it. Thank you VERY much to Aricraze, who read this over, is writing out Cinderella Story, betas my fics, and puts up with my pain and irritability when I've pulled my shoulder muscle. (Which I've done now. I hate backstroke flip turns.) So…thankies, Aricraze. (And I want to know how many tissues, as well!) REVIEW, PEOPLES, OR I'LL STOP WRITING!!!

---Ivy


	2. Make Me Regret Everything

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 2: "Make Me Regret Everything"

"Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast, breakfast," chanted Kara as she jumped up and down on the bed. Val opened her eyes.

"Kara, I would give anything for you to be a late riser," moaned Val. Her daughter wrinkled her nose.

"I'm gonna go ask Connell," she decided, hopping off of the bed.

"Kara, his name is Tyler." Val sat up and looked at Kara.

"Uh huh," replied Kara vaguely. "Tyler Connell."

"Very good," Val complimented her. "Kara, look, I'll just make you breakfast, okay? Just let me get out of bed, okay?"

"Okay," said Kara agreeably, sure she had gotten her way. Val smiled and buried her face in her pillow again.

"Mommy!" cried Kara, pouting and pulling the covers off of her mother.

"I'm getting up, I'm getting up," Val assured her with a teasing, menacing growl, climbing out of bed. Kara shrieked as Val picked her up and carried her out the door.

*

Tyler looked up from his coffee as Val and Kara entered, the latter being swung playfully by her mother. Val paled and set Kara down.

"Sorry, I forgot that you—did we wake you up?" she inquired nervously. Tyler shook his head.

"I've been up for a while," he told her, reassuring her, trying to wipe the distraught look from her face. "Val—I think we're still friends. You don't have to be anxious or anything just because I'm getting married."

"I'm not anxious because you're getting married," countered Val, sitting down on a stool. She wore a white tank top that somewhere along the way had gotten slightly too small for her, leaving tan skin visible between that and gray shorts. She propped her elbow on the table and twisted a lock of hair, looking at him curiously through still slightly asleep eyes.

"Oh." Tyler didn't want to argue with her. She was too gorgeous to argue with._ You would think that a 28-year-old doctor with a five-year-old daughter would become less beautiful over the years, but no, Val just happens to become more beautiful. If she's already this gorgeous at 28, when she's 35 she'll be ready to win the Miss Universe pageant. Connell, get a hold of yourself. You're getting married. Married, for God's sake. This is no time to fall for Val all over again, even if she is--_

"Connell, can I have some cereal?" Kara interrupted his thoughts.

"Sure." He looked at Val suspiciously. "Did you tell her my name was Connell?"

"Tyler. Tyler Connell," recited Kara, proud of herself. "Kara, I have a secr—" Val's hand clamped over her daughter's mouth.

"She has a habit of repeating things," Val explained, "even if they were never meant to be repeated."

Tyler smiled. "What do you want for breakfast?" he inquired, changing the subject. Val removed her hand from Kara's mouth.

"Pancakes?" Kara asked hopefully, upturning her face with a begging pout she had perfected over the years. "Spot likes pancakes."

"Pancakes it is," agreed Tyler. Kara smiled. "Who's Spot?"

"I'll go get him," volunteered Kara, scrambling out of the room. He turned to Val questioningly.

"Spot?"

"He's our pet," Val said mysteriously. "Do you have any more coffee?" Caffeine. Caffeine was good, especially at seven in the morning on a Saturday when you had spent the entire time last night on a plane so it seemed like three in the morning.

"Yeah. Here, let me get you some." Tyler stood and retrieved a mug from the cupboard, pouring coffee into it.

"Thanks," Val said as the cup slid in front of her. Kara returned with a tortoise in her hands.

"This is Spot," she informed Tyler proudly, holding him out. "He's a toratoizale." Val stifled a laugh. That was what Kara had always called Spot, no matter how much Val tried to convince her that it was tortoise instead of toratoizale.

"He's incredibly cool. And you know what else would be incredibly cool?"

"What, what, what?" exclaimed Kara, jumping up and down eagerly. Val had no idea how her daughter could be so energetic.

"Tortoise-shaped pancakes."

"Cooooool," breathed Kara in awe, putting Spot on the counter. "Can you make them have a tail, too?"

"Sure," agreed Tyler. Val smiled.

"Mommy makes name pancakes. They have K and two A's and R for Kara and two M's and O for Mom and sometimes S for Spot," Kara told him. He grinned at Val.

"Well, we can make name pancakes too. Can you eat that many pancakes?"

"Spot can help."

"Speaking of Spot, why is he all wet?" Val had just realized that the "toratoizale" was dripping on the counter. Kara shrugged.

"I was givin' him a bath."

"Where?" Val inquired.

"The bathroom sink, course." Kara said it like it was obvious. Val tried not to laugh. "He liked the bubbles."

"What bubbles?" Val inquired. Tyler looked like he was about to crack up.

"The shampoo, course," Kara told them in the same tone as before. "But that's okay. I left the 'ditioner alone because it doesn't make very good bubbles."

"I'm going to go make sure there isn't any permanent damage," Val decided, rising.

"I'll start those pancakes. Turtles and letters. You want to help?" he asked Kara. "I bet we can make a bird pancake, too. Do you like birds?"

As Val left the kitchen and Kara's excitement, hot tears filled her eyes.

The perfect guy I totally tried to forget because I thought I'd get over him is getting married and I'm falling even worse than I did before. This is great. I have just fantastic luck, don't I? I mean, he's handsome, intelligent, nice, caring, has a sense of humor, and is great with my daughter—and when I finally face him again it turns out he's getting married.

Val shook her head and swallowed the tears. He was out of her league by now, and it was no time to cry.

*

"When's the big day?" Val questioned Tyler as she returned in ten minutes, her hair damp from the shower, wearing jeans and a red tank top. Kara was happily stuffing her face while she tried to get Spot to eat part of a miniature tortoise pancake.

"What?" He was flipped a pancake resembling a fish. "What big day?"

"Your wedding. Have you forgotten already that you're engaged to Heather Stillmore?" It would have been nice if he had. It would have been very welcome.

"Oh. That big day. A week."

"A week?" exclaimed Val. "So I suppose I wasn't going to be invited, then."

"I was going to call you. It wouldn't be an engraved invitation, but I didn't know if you'd want to come," admitted Tyler. Kara poured syrup on Spot's pancake.

"Why wouldn't I want to come?" Val asked, tilting her head. Tyler groaned inwardly.

Stop angling your head like that, Val. Please. It's making you way too attractive. And I don't need you to be attractive while I'm fighting to get my foot out of my mouth.

"Because we haven't talked at all for years," Tyler said levelly, looking into her eyes.

"Look, Tyler, I've been busy with Kara and work and all…"

"You had time to come here—you should have had time to call. To talk. Val, I've missed you, but I'm not about to call you and stick my foot in my mouth the exact same way I'm doing right now. I have pride," he told her, "and I haven't heard from you since we were 22. I take that means you don't want to talk to me."

"I want to talk to you," mumbled Val inaudibly, "but I also want to just forget you."

Tyler wasn't sure if he had heard correctly, wasn't sure if he had heard at all. He didn't want to know why Val had suddenly turned up on his doorstep, not yet, because right now he knew that neither of them could deal with it.

"The pancake's burning," Kara notified them. Tyler looked down at the dark, shriveled fish.

"Sorry," he apologized, not meeting Val's eyes as he flipped the pancake into the trash. Val wasn't sure if he was apologizing to her or to Kara.

"Can we stay for the wedding?" Val inquired softly. Tyler looked at her.

"What?"

"Can we stay for the wedding?" she repeated. Kara smiled.

"Toratoizale pancakes every day!" she proclaimed happily. Spot nibbled his pancake gently.

"Sure," answered Tyler. "You can stay. And we can have toratoizale pancakes every day," he said to Kara, whose smile grew bigger.

"Connell makes good toratoizale pancakes," she informed her mother.

"I'm sure that I'm much better." Val kissed the top of Kara's head and smiled at Tyler teasingly.

"We can have a toratoizale pancake contest tomorrow," Tyler said. "And Kara can be the judge."

"And Spot," added Kara, patting the tortoise on his back.

"And Spot," Val echoed agreeably with another smile at Tyler. At least that was over.

*

"I wins," Kara informed Tyler and Val, setting down a run of spades from five to ace and a set of threes.

"You know, we just taught you how to play half an hour ago, but you're already winning every game. That's just not logical," Val told her daughter, folding her legs and laying down her cards. "Okay, take off twenty points…sixty points."

"Fifty five," Tyler said, putting down his cards.

"Ninety," Val counted Kara's. She looked at Kara exasperatedly. "Have you figured out how to cheat already?"

"There's a mirror behind your cards," Kara informed her. Val rolled her eyes as the doorbell rang.

"Getting it."

Tyler stood and walked out of the living room to the front door.

"Honey!"

Val felt like she was going to be sick. There was no mistaking that voice—or its owner. Kara stood and curiously went into the kitchen, followed by Val.

Heather's jaw dropped as Val entered.

"Tyler!" she shrieked. "Who's she and what is she doing here? Are you having an affair before we even get married!" Val winced at Heather's high-pitched scream.

"Val Lanier. From high school," replied Tyler, looking back and forth between the two of them. Meanwhile, Val was studying Heather.

Her hair had been bleached in streaks and her eyebrows had been bleached to match. She was dressed in a slinky, bright pink long-sleeved shirt and black miniskirt, with bright pink lizard-print heels. Altogether, she reminded Val of a hooker Barbie doll.

"And is this your…daughter?" inquired Heather, her voice tinged with disgust. Val tried not to lose her temper.

"Yes, this would be Kara."

"Oh." Heather had definitely changed for the worse since high school. She was a brat that was way too spoiled for her own good. "Isn't that sweet?"

Kara had had enough. She glared at Heather impudently and spit on the pink designer shoes.

"Kara!" exclaimed Val, pulling the five-year-old back. "Apologize to Heather."

"Sorry," Kara said with a please-forgive-me pout—but Val heard her mutter "Not" under her breath.

Tyler was hereby entirely caught in the middle. On one hand, it was hilarious to see Kara's saliva dripping down the electric pink shoes, and on the other hand, Heather was his fiancée. Which brought him to the next dilemma.

He was definitely falling for Val all over again, which was very bad, although it might just be pre-wedding jitters and he might just be a little scared at not being a bachelor anymore. Well, that was what he had convinced himself of up until now, because now Val was standing next to Heather, who was his fiancée, and the problem was that, at the moment, Val seemed a lot more attractive.

"We were just playing cards. Val's in town—and we're not having an affair."

"I should have known. You wouldn't leave me for her. I mean, she's not even close to pretty or attractive," laughed Heather sardonically. Tyler and Val's jaws both dropped at her the cruelty of her words. Kara frowned and ran into the kitchen. Val watched her go quickly and then returned her shocked gaze to Heather.

Except, Heather, at the moment it's her I'm staring at every second, not you, thought Tyler, and immediately regretted it. A horrible thought. Heather was his fiancée, for crying out loud. And Val? Well, Val was—an obstacle. An extremely gorgeous and attractive and nice and wonderful obstacle. Yeah, that was it.

"See my toratoizale?" Kara returned and held up Spot with an innocent pout.

"I really don't like reptiles," Heather said, backing away. Kara's pout deepened into an honest one. "They're so icky and mean."

"Spot's nice," insisted Kara, sitting down with a large frown. "He doesn't bite."

"What did you want?" Tyler changed the subject, picking Kara up quickly so as to avoid further argument over Spot. "I mean, was there a reason to come here?"

Heather gave a pout considerably less cute than Kara's. "You mean I have to have a reason for coming to see you?"

"That means there is one."

"I was thinking, maybe we shouldn't have purple flowers at the wedding because the bridesmaids dresses are pink, and if we have that color pink with that color purple, people might talk because you know, what with the red carpet it would clash and then if the altar is gold then it would look absolutely horrible and—so I was thinking, maybe we should get pink flowers because red would clash as well, but that would be just too much pink, and blue is out of the question because you know that I don't like blue with pink—it would seem so washed out as well—and so maybe we should have yellow. Do you think yellow is good? Or white. I was thinking white because then they'll match my dress."

"Sure, yellow and white. Can you call the florist?" Tyler sighed. Val was looking startled at Heather's deep concern over the flowers, but she shook it off.

"Tyler, honey, you can't expect me to call the florist! It's demeaning!" exclaimed Heather. She examined her hot pink nails. "Could you, please?"

"Sure." Tyler gave in. "Was that all?"

"Yeah, just about. Later I need to discuss the pew assignments, though, but that can wait. Oh, and can I have a paper towel for the slobber?" Kara glared at Heather with that comment. Tyler handed her a paper towel and Heather left, grumbling as she wiped off her shoe with vigor.

"I am really, really, really sorry for that comment…comments, actually," Tyler apologized as the door closed. Val took Kara from him and smiled.

"It's okay. I know that she's everything you want." Her last few words held a mocking tone.

"Val, come on—"

"Tyler, you don't need to apologize for your fiancée. I completely understand," she said perkily. "I'm just going to go—give Kara a bath. Yeah. She's dirty."

"Mommy," whined Kara, but Val was already carrying her up the stairs. Tyler buried his face in his hands, his fingers in his hair.

"Oh, good. Back to the way things were."

Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Today is my 12th birthday, so as a present would you PLEASE review? PLEASE?

--Ivy Leaves

Disclaimer: Sleepless in Seattle does not belong to me. Characters (with the exception of Kara and Spot) do not belong to me. Get it? Don't sue…


	3. Pause And Reflect Before You Let Go

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 3: "Pause And Reflect Before You Let Go"

"Sorry."

Tyler put down his well-worn copy of_ The Grapes Of Wrath _and looked at a shame-faced Val.

"What for?" he inquired. Val sighed.

"I was rude."

_"You_ were rude?" Tyler wasn't sure he had heard correctly. Hadn't Heather been the rude one? "I thought that was my fiancée."

"Well…" Val couldn't deny it. Her eyes caught a sparkle. "She was rude as well, but I was rude to you."

"No, you weren't," argued Tyler. He sat up and studied her face. "Of course you weren't." Val, rude? No. Not even close to plausible, but maybe he was blinded by the surprise of seeing her. _Or maybe I'm blinded by falling in love with her, _another part of his mind said, but he pushed that bit away because he couldn't deal with it right now—it was too hard. He was getting married. She had a daughter. This was impossible and he had to get himself out of the tar pit before he drowned in it.

"That makes me feel better," Val admitted, sitting down on the couch.

"I'm glad."

Val leaned back against the couch and breathed deeply. Tyler watched her like a falcon, though the gaze held none of the bitterness a bird of prey directs to its victim. He probably wasn't even capable of having_ any _bitterness to Val, and as things were at the moment, he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Are Hank and people in town? What with the wedding and all?"

"Hank's flying in today, actually," Tyler told her. "Jamie's coming tomorrow and Caitie's coming in Thursday or something, since she's not in the wedding itself."

"Okay." Something was troubling Val, even if she didn't want to show it. Her eyes were slightly clouded with a mask that barred view of her feelings. "I'm going to go check on Kara. I think she was talking about making Spot a parachute, and I can only guess what that will lead to."

"I'll go check," Tyler volunteered.

"Thanks. If all else fails, ask if Spot needs a bath," Val suggested. Tyler nodded and rose. He was halfway out of the room before he turned back to Val.

"And, Val?"

"Yeah?"

"You're never rude."

*

The doorbell rang.

Val looked around at the lack of Tyler's presence, prayed it wasn't Heather, and swung open the door.

"Hank!" she cried.

"Val?" He was surprised, to say the least. If Tyler had finally come to his senses and realized that Heather was a snob and there were plenty of other way better people—such as Val—around, then great. Absolutely fantastic. Somehow Hank doubted this was the case, however. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Tyler was pretty much the only one Val had lost contact completely from. Hank called her once in a while, now and then she called him, but being face to face with each other was very different.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just staying with Tyler until the wedding," she said hurriedly, interpreting the questioning look correctly. "He said it was okay."

"You look great," Hank informed Val. She smiled.

"Thanks. You haven't actually seen Kara yet, have you?"

"I haven't really had that honor," Hank confessed with a smile to match Val's. "She's five now, right?"

"Six in September, but yeah. Kara, honey!"

"Mommy, I'm giving Spot a bath! Connell's helping!" Kara yelled back. Her statement was met with a groan from Val.

"I need you to come down here, okay?"

"Okay," Kara replied, sounding frustrated. A moment later, she was marching down the stairs with Tyler behind her and a wet Spot in her hands. Tyler's shirt was soaking wet.

"Connell makes really good bubbles," Kara informed them. She looked at Hank. "See my toratoizale?" She held Spot up proudly.

"He's very cool. Supercool." The word brought a smile to Val and Tyler's lips.

"Super supercool," decided Kara, and she wound herself around Hank's leg with a big smile.

"This is your Uncle Hank," Val told her daughter. "Remember, he's the one you sent the snowman card to?" After Val's reminder, Kara leaned back and looked up at him.

"Hello, Hankyerchief."

All three adults cracked up at that. Kara looked very proud of herself as she let go of Hank's leg and wandered over to the counter, placing Spot down on it.

"I like my new nickname," said Hank. "Have you met Heather yet?" he asked Val, who turned pink.

"Yes," she answered. Hank looked at her curiously."She informed me that I was nowhere near pretty, basically." Hank's jaw dropped, and he seemed like he was about to say something in reply, but changed his mind.

"No comment," he muttered, not wanting to get Tyler annoyed if he mentioned that Val was far prettier than Heather.

"Kara spit on her shoes," Val said with a smile.

"Which ones?" Hank asked.

"The pink lizard ones."

Hank was about to answer with a laugh when he caught the meaningful glare from Tyler. Val saw it as well, and she silenced, looking down at the floor.

"So I guess you're going to be sleeping in the second guest room. You want me to help you with your bags?" Tyler asked Hank, who shook his head in return.

"No, I'm sure I can manage. Thanks, though. It's great to see you, Val." He nodded affirmatively, as if that was indeed what he had meant to say, and started up the stairs, leaving Tyler and Val alone with a cheerful Kara playing with Spot on the counter.

"Do you have a gym near here?" Val inquired of Tyler. He looked surprised, then nodded.

"Yeah, down Kelsey Street and take a left onto McCollum. You want me to show you?"

"I can find it, I'm sure. Can you watch Kara? I'm going to go change and I'll just head over there to work out, I guess." She looked at him, waiting for his answer.

"Of course. I'll take her out to lunch or something."

"That's not necessary," Val argued. "I mean, if you're already soaked to the bone, giving Spot baths will amuse her for a long time." She looked at the drops of water dripping from his shirt to the floor. "And you are definitely soaked to the bone."

"I personally think Spot is the cleanest toratoizale on the face of this planet," Tyler laughed. "I don't mind."

"Well, whatever. I need to exercise." She didn't add her thoughts: _And I need to think. I need to think really, really hard about why you like Heather so much and why I didn't keep contact with you and why everything has to turn out so that I can't fall in love with you because it's absolutely forbidden._

__"All right."

They stood there for a few more minutes, trying to avoid each other's eyes while trying to look into them at the same time, looking for all the world like scared teenagers.

"I'm just going to go—change," Val said, interrupting the silence.

_Change? Change is an understatement. Change is what has made us two different people and change is what is going to keep us apart for the rest of our lives. Change is a wrecking ball that will destroy anything that isn't intelligent enough to stay out of its way. Why couldn't we have been smarter?_

Val left the room.

Tears were going to fall that night—on two different pillows of two different people.

*

"Where do you want to eat?" Tyler asked Kara as he carried her down the busy sidewalk on his shoulders. "Are you hungry?"

"Food," Kara informed him. Tyler laughed.

"Food is always good."

*

Kara looked at the sandwich in front of her with relish.

"Thank you, Connell," she said politely before taking a large hunk out of it with her teeth.

"So—Kara. About your mom."

"Heather was mean," Kara informed him, crossing her arms defensively as she forgot about her sandwich. "Spot's not icky. And I don't slobber. And my mommy_ is _pretty. She's very pretty."

"Your mommy is too pretty for her own or my own good," Tyler agreed. Kara looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement.

"Do you like my mommy?" she inquired. Tyler was taken aback. Five-year-olds really shouldn't be this smart.

"I like her, yes." Maybe he could dodge this without actually answering. He didn't want Kara to be a miniature spy for Val.

"Do you love her?" Kara asked bluntly. Tyler stared at her.

"What?"

"Do. You. Love. Mommy?" she repeated slowly, sticking enunciation at the end of each word in the form of punctuation.

"Can you keep a secret?" he questioned. Kara nodded eagerly with a big smile.

"I'm good at secrets."

"I think so…" Tyler said slowly, trailing off. "I think I do."

"Oh." Kara's attention returned to her sandwich and the apparent loneliness of it since it wasn't being stuffed in her mouth. "That's all."

"I don't know yet. I mean, I'm getting married to Heather—"

"Heather's mean," interjected Kara with a decisive nod. "Mommy's not mean."

"Heather can be difficult," Tyler agreed, sighing, "but I mean, once you get to know her better—" Kara was looking at him with exasperation and disbelief. "I'm marrying her. I don't have a choice."

"Can't you have choices at all?" Kara asked. "Because it's your funeryal."

"You know too many comebacks for your own good," Tyler scowled at her. "Did your mother teach you to be like that?"

"Nah," Kara said, biting into her sandwich again as she shook her head. "That was Ryan from my school. It's his favorite sayin'."

"Does your mom like me?" Kara didn't answer. "Come on, Kara, tell me."

"I'm not tellin' you anything," stated Kara.

"So she does."

"I didn't say that."

"Oh."

In the silence that followed, Kara finished off her sandwich.

"So what does you mom do at the gym?" Tyler asked, changing the subject and dropping all hope of weaseling information out of Kara.

"She presses benches," Kara told him. Tyler nodded.

"You mean she bench-presses."

"Yep. That's what I said."

*

A woman came over to their table and stood there expectantly, waiting for them to address her so that she could speak. Kara looked up at her with wide blue eyes.

"What is it?"

"I just wanted to say that your daughter is absolutely adorable," the woman said to Tyler. He looked at her with surprise.

"I'm not his daughter," Kara told the woman. "My mommy is his friend and he's getting married but the person he's marryin' is really mean because she thought Spot was icky. But my mommy's not mean. So he should marry my mommy."

The woman looked at Kara with amusement and then at Tyler. "Mean, huh?"

Tyler was now an interesting shade of red_. "Kara."_

Kara looked at him innocently.

"What?"

*

Val lifted the weight one last time and sat up. She had spent two hours lifting weights and running on the treadmill and thinking about the circumstances and conditions that surrounded Tyler, her, and Heather—and she had come to a conclusion.

She had to let him go. If it was what he wanted, then she wasn't going to take it away from him. She would love him enough to let him go, and maybe after all the pain had worn away in ten or twelve years, she could think about seeing other people.

Except—Val had a feeling Tyler didn't want to marry Heather. It sounded conceited, but she loved him more than Heather. Heather was so superficial and—okay, well, that was just jealousy. Val was going to find out if Tyler loved Heather and if Heather loved Tyler and then she would make her decision completely.

Val bit her lip and stood up to go home.

*

"Hey," Val greeted Tyler and Kara as she came in. They were playing cards. More precisely, poker. "Tyler, did you teach her how to play poker?"

"We're betting grains of rice," Tyler informed her. Val smiled and looked back and forth between Kara's heap and Tyler's pile.

"I think she's beating you."

"I'm telling you, the kid is a genius at all card games," said Tyler. "You want to play?"

"I'm going to go take a shower," Val told him, motioning at her "I Play Like A Girl (that means I can beat you)" t-shirt. Tyler hadn't known she was prone to wear T-shirts with slogans, but then, she had changed over the years and so had he. "I probably smell like a dead skunk."

"Not quite," he said contemplatively, as though trying to decide, "but pretty close. More like an alive skunk that's spraying." His tone was teasing, and Val laughed and slapped him in the back of the head.

"Idiot."

She turned and left, heading towards the shower. Tyler's eyes moved back to the cards.

"Fold," he said. Kara grinned.

"I wins. Again."

That was sort of odd, but I'm thinking about doing a sequel to Sunscreen and I think I've memorized Everything You Want. I've listened to it and Sick Cycle Carousel way too much. I think I'm going to go listen to You're A God for only the fourth time. :-) Anyways. Bye people. Please review, and the next chapter will be out soon.


	4. Think Twice Before You Move

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 4: "Think Twice Before You Move"

"Aiee!" screamed Val, tripping over Kara's blanket draped across the stairs and stumbling, falling down the stairs.

Tyler caught her with surprise. He had just happened to be walking by, and it was very lucky, because Val wasn't injured now—and she was in his arms.

This was absolutely frightening, how well she fit there and how good it felt to hold her and how he liked it so much more than when he hugged, say, Heather. Val's chin fit into his neck very snugly, even if she wasn't trying to put it there… and his arms wrapped around her very nicely… and the perfection was sparking in the form of electricity all over… and neither one of them moved for a minute before Val stood, regained her balance, and looked at him with a trace of puzzlement still in her eyes.

"Thanks," she said simply, bending down and picking up the blanket.

"Welcome."

And, completely aware of what had just happened, they continued on their paths.

*

"Why are you marrying her?" Val asked Tyler as they walked down the same sidewalk Kara and he had taken two days before. The three of them—Val, Tyler, and Kara—had gotten ice cream after eating dinner with Jamie, who had come the day before. Jamie had retired back to his hotel room, having jet lag, but Kara had begged for ice cream, and so here they were, walking up Peabody Avenue with Kara perched on Tyler's shoulders.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean—do you l—who proposed?" Val finally settled for that, as it was less likely to explode in her face.

"She did. I was sort of caught in the middle, I suppose, because it was in the middle of a restaurant and you know, I didn't want old ladies slapping me with handbags and all—"

"Right. I get it." Val was silent. So Tyler hadn't wanted to marry Heather? That was both relieving and painful. Relieving because it might mean he wasn't in love with her, painful because it meant that if he wasn't in love with her and if Val didn't make a move or something fast, he was going to marry someone whom he didn't love, someone who was bitter and mean. Thoughtful, she tasted the Rocky Road ice cream cone again.

"So, do you love her?" she asked. Tyler's gaze grew startled.

"Of course I do," he answered. Val nodded.

"Yeah."

But there had been something in his voice that caused her to doubt otherwise, and so she wasn't entirely sure he was telling the truth.

Meanwhile, the seed of doubt had been fed, and it was rapidly growing.

*

"I'm still trying to figure out why Tyler invited you, honestly," Val told Caitie. The brunette shrugged.

"I guess we've sort of become semi-friends, and Heather probably invited tons of people and wanted Tyler to have an equal amount so that the church pews would even out or something." Caitie was happily single and dated on and off. She had graduated college with a degree in creative writing and was in the middle of writing her third book.

"True." Caitie had arrived earlier that day and Val was having a cup of coffee with her. Hank had agreed to watch Kara.

"So, what's the deal with you and Tyler?" Caitie inquired.

"He's an excellent babysitter," Val told her, avoiding the subject as if it was a pillar of fire she was tiptoeing around.

"Seriously, Val."

And she tripped into the flames. Tears gathered in her eyes. "Caitie, how could you not have told me that he was engaged?"

"I thought it would be best if he told you." Now Caitie was also trying to get away from the fire.

"You mean he was going to?" countered Val. Caitie winced.

"Val, you know I would have told you. He swore me to secrecy."

"Caitie!"

"Well, he did!" Caitie replied indignantly. Val sighed and leaned back.

"Oh well. He can just marry Heather and be miserable with the hooker Barbie doll all the rest of his life." That wasn't how she really felt, but long ago she had learned it was safer to mask feelings and cover them up than to reveal them and let people rub salt into the wounds.

"So the hooker Barbie doll thing occurred to you as well," Caitie said gleefully. Val cracked a smile.

"Well, with that low-cut pink top and miniskirt and heels and disdainful pout and I-could-care-less attitude…not to mention all the makeup…" Val trailed off with a laugh.

"She made a comment to me over the phone that I should try to find a dress that wasn't black because black wouldn't match the colors and would disrupt the cheer of the occasion." Caitie snorted. "I may be a little different, even though all this time out of high school has made me slightly more normal, but I think I'm aware that you don't wear black to a wedding unless you're in mourning."

Val laughed. "She told me that I wasn't attractive and that Tyler would never leave her for me."

"You're prettier than she is," Caitie said, shaking her head. "Whether Tyler will leave her or not still remains to be seen."

The blonde froze, staring. "I really don't want to talk about that," she clipped firmly. Caitie looked surprised, then settled.

"All right, all right," she agreed. 

Things had gotten so massively tangled since high school. Val and Tyler were going to be together, everyone knew, or at least everyone had known back in high school. Now? Well, there was Heather and Tyler, and there was Tyler and Val, and then there was Kara, who made things even more complicated.

Val sighed. "I don't know. This is just so weird, you know?"

"Yeah," Caitie agreed again with a nod. Val blew a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"Love sucks," she told Caitie, who nodded in agreement once more.

*

"So, I've been wondering," Hank began. Tyler looked up at him.

"About what?"

"Well, not to sound nagging or anything, but…do you really love Heather?" Hank inquired tentatively. "I mean, honestly, there are better people out there."

"Beecham, please."

"Like Val, for instance," Hank continued. The blond froze, staring.

"Don't get involved with that," Tyler warned, tousling Kara's hair. Hank had been babysitting her, but he came over to talk with Tyler and they had turned on the sports channel, and Kara was watching professional football very enthusiastically.

"See?"

"See what?" Tyler asked, completely confused now. His hand withdrew from Kara's blond locks.

"You want kids, Tyler, and you know it, as well," Hank pointed out. "Have you asked Heather if she wants kids?"

"Kids have nothing to do with if I love Heather," said Tyler crossly, his blue eyes growing stubborn.

"They have everything to do with it," argued the other. "If you want kids, you're going to be a whole lot happier with them than without. Sure, Heather might be stylish and fashionable and pretty, but when it all boils down, Val is gorgeous and has a better attitude and is all-around so much more what you're looking for."

Tyler glared. "How on earth do you know what I'm looking for, Hank? I am 28 and I know what I want! I know what I'm doing, and what I'm doing is marrying Heather! So leave me alone and don't talk about Val, okay? It hurts enough already!"

He stood up and walked off. Kara pouted.

"Stupid Brett Farvery," she told Hank, who smiled. "Go! Run! Yay!" she shrieked as her preferred team made a touchdown. "Go for gold, not silver!"

Hank had no idea where she had learned that saying, but it fit everything very well.

*

Seven digits. Three rings. One word.

"Hello?" Heather asked in an annoyed tone. Tyler sighed. He had probably interrupted her pedicure.

"It's me," he said. Heather sighed.

"Tyler, couldn't you have called at a more convenient time? I'm in the middle of my weekly pedicure and I'm in the middle of deciding my color!" Heather exclaimed._ Bingo, _thought Tyler. "I mean, I have to choose between Peachy Perfect, Passionate Pink, Pretty Pink, Lovely Lilac Lavender, or Glamorous Glitter and how am I supposed to do that if you keep calling?" she whined.

"Sorry. But, Heather, do you think we could have kids?"

"Ick, who wants kids? They're so messy. I mean, that Karen girl is so gross. She spit on me. Ew." Tyler could practically hear Heather wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Her name's Kara," Tyler corrected, temper flaring for a moment.

"Whatever," sighed Heather with exasperation, "all kids are the same. Disgusting, messy, and annoying."

"All right, then. Bye." He hung up. Heather had failed to remember that he was a pediatric emergency doctor by choice, and that he loved kids.

_Or maybe, _Tyler said silently,_ she remembered but didn't care._

Yes, that was the sort of thing Heather would have done. She valued her opinion above anyone else's. Val, on the other hand…but there was no Val. Val couldn't even be considered, not when everything was this complicated.

"Love sucks," Tyler muttered.

*

Kara padded into the bathroom with a toothbrush in her hand at nine that night.

"Mommy went to sleep," she explained to Tyler. "And I gots to brush my teeth."

"So you want toothpaste?" Tyler inquired.

"Yep," Kara said, angling her head with another of her perfected pouts that came automatically, whether it was needed or not.

"Will you tell me if your mom likes me or not?" he asked hopefully. Kara wrinkled her nose.

"No. Give me the toothpaste. Please," she added as an afterthought.

"Oh, fine." Tyler gave up for the second time and handed her the toothpaste. Kara smiled and squeezed it onto the toothpaste, then watched in dismay as the excess fell to the floor.

"Sorry," she said to Tyler. He smiled.

"It's fine. I'll clean it up later. Right now, though, you're going to undergo a very severe punishment."

"I am?" Kara asked worriedly.

"The Tickle Monster Attack!" yelled Tyler, pouncing. Kara started giggling nonstop.

It wasn't until Tyler was picking Kara up and handing her the toothbrush that he noticed Val was in the doorway with a smile on her lips.

"Connell's good tickler," Kara said to Val, whose expression grew even more amused.

"I'm sure he is," she answered, watching her daughter spit in the sink. Val picked her up. "Are you and Heather going to have kids? Because you're great with them." She tilted her head just slightly to the side in questioning, blue eyes automatically curious and blond hair falling with the angle of her head.

"Heather doesn't want them," Tyler said in a low voice. "She doesn't like them."

Val seemed as if she was about to reply, then nodded and left, leaving Tyler alone in the bathroom with a look of pain etched on his features as he slowly bent down to clean up the toothpaste on the tiled floor…

*evil cackle* Doncha like? I'm so cruel…but wait until NEXT chapter. Then I'm going to be REALLY evil. REALLY evil. It should be out relatively soon—I want to finish this story before I continue my others.

I was sorta wondering where you guys got the idea Kara was Tyler's kid, but that's no matter. It was a possibility, I s'pose, but it's not the reality. Sorry to disappoint you. :-(

---IVY

P.S. – I'm hyper. Just so you know. Vertical Horizon is coolsisos. Download Shackled and Everything You Want and all those great songs if you don't have them already. And Only One by Lifehouse. Okay, this is besides the point. See ya. AND REVIEW! =D


	5. Complicate Matters Even More

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 5: "Complicate Matters Even More"

The rap on the door was casual yet firm.

"Just a minute, I'm changing," Val called, tugging the dark blue tank over her head hurriedly as she crossed the room to open the door. "Hey, Tyler. What's up?"

It really was a sin how Val could pull on any old top and look like a goddess. Seriously, it was. She always went into her room, changed in five seconds flat, came out, and looked immortal.

"We're rehearsing the wedding. In the living room."

"I thought you had a wedding rehearsal yesterday," recalled Val, leaning against the doorframe with an inquisitive look.

"I, for one, would like to run things through again rather than forget where I'm supposed to stand on Sunday," Tyler told her. Val grinned at that.

"All right, so you're having another rehearsal. Is Kara bothering you or something? Because Spot might be a little dirty," Val told Tyler in a very serious voice. Tyler returned her smile.

"No, but you and Caitie are the only females of adequate age in the vicinity at the moment and since Caitlin has politely declined—" Val cut him off in the middle of his formal speech.

"Rudely said no possible way, more like it," she corrected. Tyler nodded his agreement.

"Anyway," Tyler said, lapsing into normal speech with another smile, "could you pretend to be Heather?"

Val raised her eyebrow. "No offense or anything, but… I don't think I'm pretty enough to be Heather." Her voice was sarcastic.

Tyler groaned. "Val, come on."

"Fine. Sure." Val followed him down the hall. "You knew I wasn't going to refuse, didn't you?"

"Of course," replied Tyler, grinning once more. "Of course."

*

"So, you just stand right here," Tyler told Val, placing his hands on her shoulders and moving her over a couple of steps, trying very hard to ignore the feel of her skin on his. "And, obviously, you walk down the aisle, and we—well, technically, on Sunday, Heather and I, but for now you and I, I suppose—say all the vows and everything, right, and…"

"And you think you're going to mess up at the wedding?" Val inquired, her blue eyes laughing.

"Shut up," said Tyler good-naturedly, walking up to the front of the living room, near the fireplace, the area deemed to be the altar.

"Okay, so all the flower girls and bridesmaids go out in front of me," Val said, "and then I just walk down the aisle, right?"

"Yeah," Hank agreed. Tyler nodded.

"Are you sure you're worried about messing up?" she inquired of Tyler. He smiled.

"Val."

One syllable, but that syllable prompted her to move down the supposed aisle, towards Tyler. It was supposed to be pretending, another dress-up that brought her back to Halloween when she was six, another role play, another lead in the school play, but it felt way too real as soon as her eyes connected with Tyler's. Neither of them tried to look away from the glance that dared them to take it a step further, to forget reality and lunge for the dream world as Val slowly approached him, scared to death of the look in his eyes that was probably mirrored in her own.

Her feet stopped moving automatically—at least it must have been automatically, because her mind was too wrapped up in Tyler to remember when to stop.

"All right," Hank said, a tinge of anxiety in his voice, having seen what was happening between Val and Tyler. "We are gathered here today to unite these two in holy matrimony…" The words were more or less correct, and it really didn't matter if they were right or not, because Tyler and Val were too involved in each other to pay attention to Hank, or rather, the priest.

"Valerie Kara Lanier, do you take Tyler Robert Connell to be your lawfully wedded husband, through good or bad, better or worse?" Val didn't know why he couldn't just use Heather's name, but that was a minor detail.

"I do." Her lips were moving of their own accord, with the same power that had stopped her feet.

"Tyler Robert Connell, do you take Valerie Kara Lanier to be your lawfully wedded wife, through good or bad, better or worse?"

"Of course I do." His eyes never wavered from hers.

"I hereby pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

They all knew it was coming. It was inevitable, absolutely bound to happen. Tyler and Val's lips connected.

It was like the kisses shown in movies, long and sweet, Tyler's arms winding firmly around Val's slender frame, crushing her body against his as they deepened the kiss entirely. It was seething with the fierceness of forbidden lies, the gentleness of a dove on a branch, the kiss of need and hunger and doom.

"Tyler!" called a voice. Tyler and Val sprung apart at the sound of Heather's voice echoing through the house. Blue eyes were opened in wide innocence like a newly born butterfly breaking through the warm chrysalis to the pain and coldness of reality.

_Thank God Val wasn't wearing lipstick, _Tyler reflected as Heather entered the room._ And thank you so much that Heather didn't come in two seconds earlier._

"Tyler, there you are." She looked, confused, at the awkwardness of the moment and completely missed what it was, which was lucky. "What are you doing?"

"We were practicing the wedding, but you weren't here, so Val took your place."

"Oh." Heather looked Val up and down with evident disdain. "Don't you think she's a bit inadequate to play me? I mean, I've said it before, but she's not nearly as attractive as yours truly."

"Heather!" Tyler looked at her with horror and repeated himself. _"Heather!"_

"She's not," Heather insisted whiningly.

Kara chose that moment to interrupt by winding herself around Heather's leg. Apparently she had forgiven Heather's meanness and was willing to be friends. Heather, on the other hand, didn't seem to want to be friends.

"Get off!" she whined, shaking her leg. Kara looked surprised. "I really don't want your grubby paws wrapped around my clean leg!"

Val picked Kara up, unwinding her daughter from Heather. "Heather, it's how she says hi. It's like a hug. It means she likes you."

"Well, I don't like her! Isn't that what, like, three-year-olds do? She's such an idiot!"

Kara started bawling. "I'm not an idott," she informed Val, who put Kara's head on her shoulder.

"I know, honey, I know." Her eyes were angry as she turned to Heather again, but her voice was cool and calm, silent and deadly. "Heather—I adopted her when she was three. Her mother died and there were no other relatives, so she was put in an orphanage where she experienced trauma. She wouldn't speak after her mother's death until she was nearly two because she was so scared. It's incredibly lucky that she got over it and got adjusted to life, and I don't need people like you telling her that she's an idiot because it could ruin her life again. You may not like kids, but that's no reason to treat them like scum."

"But they are!" shrieked Heather. Val stared at her, then handed Kara off to Hank and marched out of the room.

Tyler looked from Heather to the direction Val had gone and exited also. Heather squealed and ran after Tyler, leaving Caitie, Hank, Jamie, and Kara surprised in the living room.

"Why'd Connell kiss Mommy?" Kara inquired of Hank. "Isn't Connell getting marriaged?"

"Yes," Hank agreed, shaking her head. "Connell is getting marriaged and this makes things even more complicated."

*

It wasn't until seven that night that Hank entered Tyler's room. The blond was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands.

"Have you been sitting like that all day?" Hank inquired. Tyler didn't look up.

"Yes."

"So what's wrong? Did you dislike the kiss or something?" Hank prodded, poking deep. Tyler's laugh was bitter when it occurred.

"No."

"Then what?" Hank had his suspicions, but he knew that suspicions weren't always correct, and guesses that dealt with a sensitive subject were better off not having.

"Hank…" Tyler finally took his hands away from his face. He looked absolutely miserable, his eyes red, his frown helpless, his overall expression absolutely clueless as to what happened next. "I liked it. I loved it. I loved it so much more than when I kiss Heather."

Oh God, this was growing way too complicated.

*

She strode, business-like, up to the counter. A white lab coat with her name stitched into the chest pocket hung loose on her body, making her no less attractive. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and the look in her eyes was formal.

"Can I speak with Tyler Connell?" Val asked the receptionist, who shook her head in instant apology.

"I'm sorry, he's on shift now and he's seeing patients."

"Can I at least go back, just for a moment?" Val pleaded. What she had to say couldn't wait any longer. Today was today, tomorrow was the wedding, and there was no time to waste.

"I suppose," the receptionist complied dubiously. "But please don't bother him if he's busy, or the patients will complain. Room 346."

"Thank you very much."

As soon as she turned around, another woman approached the counter with a girl about six in tow. The girl was holding her right arm in pain, a frown heavy on her lips.

"Excuse me, my daughter, Susan, hurt her arm and they said we'd have an appointment at two with Doctor Connell?" The woman's voice was uncertain. Val glanced at the clock. 2:17. "The last name is Jackson."

The receptionist hit a couple of keys on her computer and nodded. "Sorry for the wait, his last patient just got out a few minutes ago. A busted knee, I think. Room 346."

"I'm heading there myself," Val spoke up with a smile. "I don't know if you're familiar with the layout of hospitals…I'll show you, though."

"Thanks," the woman sounded grateful. Val smiled once more reassuringly. "We're just new in town, and we haven't been to this ER before, or anything…do you work here?" Mrs. Jackson had taken an instant liking to the friendly young woman.

"No, no. I'm from out of town. I just stopped in to see Doctor Connell, actually, and I'm staying for his wedding," said Val.

"He's getting married, then?"

"Yes." Val didn't let emotion creep into her voice. Emotion was dangerous. Emotion left you open and bared and frightened with nothing to hide behind.

"Fantastic, then."

"Completely."

"Is he a good doctor?" Val wasn't sure if Mrs. Jackson had sensed that she was uncomfortable with the subject or had just changed topics. Either way, it was a welcome distraction, because Val didn't want to think about the wedding more than she had to.

"Excellent. He's my age, but we were on the same EMS team in high school, so he's very good at emergency medicine and he's absolutely fantastic with kids." At her own mention of kids, Val switched her attention to Susan. The six-year-old had her black hair plaited into small braids that hung down to her elbows and wide, dark eyes.

"That's good to hear," said Mrs. Jackson. Val nodded agreement.

"How old are you, Susan?" she inquired. Susan held up six fingers with the arm that was uninjured. Or rather, tried to.

"Whoa. Six. My daughter is turning six next September." Mrs. Jackson glanced at Val's bare ring finger, and Val turned slightly red. "She's adopted," she explained. Mrs. Jackson nodded understanding, though Val didn't think she would have disapproved of a single mother too much—that was the impression, at least, and impressions could always be wrong…

"Here we are. 346," said Val unnecessarily. The door was partly open. "Connell, you've got patients," she called through the door. That brought him out in two seconds flat.

"Val, what are you doing here?" he hissed quietly into her ear, grinning down at Susan.

"I need to talk to you," she responded.

"After the appointment?"

"Fine."

Val stood back with slight discomfort and let Susan and her mother pass through the door.

"Val," came the plaintive statement from Susan. "I want Val to fix the bust-up arm." Apparently she had been listening to the receptionist talking about a busted knee.

Mrs. Jackson sighed. "Susie, hon, Dr. Connell's going to fix your arm."

"Val," insisted Susan.

"Susie, Dr. Connell's good at fixing arms…" A twinkle grew in Tyler's eyes at that comment.

"Val… pwease?"

Pwease was an irresistible word.

"I don't know if I should," said Val, her voice doubtful but showing signs of complying. "The hospital would get mad if I administered treatment. I don't work for them."

"If I get paid and I conduct_ some _form of treatment, they wouldn't have anything legally," Tyler told her, entering the conversation. "And if no one_ tells…"_

__"Sure," sighed Val. "Tyler, I'll check it over if you can set it…?"

"Sure."

It didn't take too long. Tyler and Val studiously avoided eye contact.

"All done," announced Tyler. Susie's arm sported a new purple splint for the compression fracture. "You can take it off in three weeks, most likely, if it's healed. Come back in a week or two so that we can check on it."

"Thank you very much," said Mrs. Jackson thankfully. "Dr. Lanier… Dr. Connell…"

"Bye-bye!" Susie said perkily, sucking the green lollipop.

"No problem," responded Val. Tyler echoed her. Susie bounced out the door after her mother, and the door swung shut after them.

"I suppose the cheerleading team has a new recruit in eight or nine years, hm?" inquired Val with a smile.

"Val…"

Tyler, if not Val, had realized they were alone. Val's eyes widened as she turned to face him.

"I came here to tell you we can't," she stated brusquely. "We can't… Tyler, you'll watch her walk down the aisle and you'll say your vows and you'll kiss her and you'll be a happily married man. Us doesn't exist anyway. This is nothing. The kiss was nothing. We are nothing."

The last words cut deep.

"Fine," he said, covering up any emotion. "Are you coming to the wedding?"

"Yes?" Val's voice trembled as she added a question mark to the statement. Her eyes pleaded apology. "Tyler… we… we just can't. The kiss was a mistake. Role-playing. Go get married to Heather. Have fun. Lead a perfect life. No kids, because Heather doesn't want them, but it won't be such a bad life." She inhaled deeply, needing the air for what she was going to say.

"I mean, it's not like I love you or anything," she finished.

YAY. I FINISHED!!! No, not the_ story, _though it might make a nice cliffie for the end… anywhos. I'm sorry it took so long to get out. I was having trouble writing the whole things with Susie. If any of the details are wrong, I apologize. Heather, Tyler, Val, Hank, Jamie, Caitie, the EMS station of the squad, and Tyler/Val's relationship belong to Disney/Alliance Atlantis. Spot, Kara, the wedding rehearsal, Susie, Mrs. Jackson, the receptionist, and Susie's green lollipop belong to me. Bye bye!

---Ivy

PS… I am obliged to say that it sucks, because it did, but maybe it was a LEETLE good. I don't know. Please review and tell me? Thankies!!!


	6. Finalize It, Make Mistakes

Still Waiting For You

Still Waiting For You

Chapter 6: "Finalize It, Make Mistakes"

"Clarify that, please," requested Caitie, staring at Val.

"I told Tyler I didn't love him."

"And your exact words were…?"

"Something like, 'I mean, it's not like I love you or anything.' I can't remember," said Val miserably.

"Val?"

"Yeah?" Val looked up at her best friend hopefully.

"You're an idiot," said Caitie flatly.

"I know," replied Val before she started crying.

*

"I should be nervous!" Tyler screamed to Hank. Two hours before the wedding. He was pacing the room, shirt halfway unbuttoned and tie hanging around his neck.

"Aren't you?" replied Hank calmly.

"No. I'm thinking about what Val said yesterday… I'm anxious because of that… I shouldn't be…" Tyler was mumbling to himself.

"What exactly did she say, anyway?" Hank was unable to contain his curiosity. "You never told me."

"To quote, 'I mean, it's not like I love you or anything.' I think that was it."

Val, why on earth are you being such an idiot? And why is Tyler accepting it? Why on earth is he stupid enough to believe it?** Not stupid, blinded. So in love he can't see that she loves him back. Shakespeare was right.**

****"What fools these mortals be," murmured Hank.

"What?" asked Tyler, ceasing to pace for a moment.

"Nothing," said Hank quickly.

*

Five minutes.

Five minutes before he went out into the church and got married to Heather and lived happily ever after.

But he wasn't feeling nervous, or anxious, or scared, or happy. He just felt like he was making the biggest mistake in the world.

Val, he thought miserably. No. Not Val. Heather. Heather. His fiancée, soon to be wife. Heather. No. VAL. No…

"Connell, Connell!" someone whispered, tugging on his pant leg. Startled out of his thoughts, he looked down to see Kara whispering his name fiercely.

"What?"

"Mommy lied," Kara informed him. "She lied!"

"She's right," agreed a voice. Tyler looked up, half expecting to see Val. But that wasn't Val's voice… Caitie. When did she come? When did Kara come?

"Right about what?"

"Val does love you," Caitie said quietly. "Don't be an idiot. If you want to throw your life away on Heather, go ahead, but Val is in love with you…"

"What?" This was an awful joke. It wasn't in the least bit funny. Val didn't love him. She said so! She said she didn't love him… but…

"She lied. She's scared of getting hurt. Val… doesn't think you would leave Heather for her."

"I don't know if I could, either."

Caitie's eyes grew hard. "Then I overestimated you."

"It's too late to fix anything anyway…" He trailed off. Was it too late?

"Not if you honestly want to fix it," said Hank, joining the conversation. "I've tried not to say it, but… Val is so much better than Heather. Face it, Tyler. You know Val better than almost anyone else, even if you haven't talked to her in a long time. You two were made for each other and if you don't realize it soon, then—"

"The ceremony begins immediately," interrupted a steward, placing his hand on the door. Tyler looked back and forth between the door and Kara.

"I don't know…" he said faintly.

*

He took his place at the altar and closed his eyes in pain. What if they were telling the truth? You know that you'd leave Heather for Val in a second if you thought Val would accept you. You are in love with her. Now, why did it take so long for you to figure that out?

He couldn't answer that, so he opened his eyes and searched the room for her.

They weren't lying… he realized as he found Val. A tear was running down her cheek and the look in her eyes explained that she didn't mean to say what she had said. You can't marry Heather, the voice in his head announced. You're too in love with Val.

Right about then, the wedding march started playing and he had to tear himself away from Val.

The bridesmaids' dresses were very nice, Tyler thought dully, if you liked pink. He didn't really care about pink, but it wasn't ugly. Like, when Val wore pink, it was a very attractive color. Connell, he warned himself.

"All rise for the bride," intoned the priest. Tyler was surprised it was moving this quickly. It should be slow motion, maybe, something that gave him more time to think.

Yes, Heather looked beautiful in her wedding dress. But Val would look better. Val looked better now, with tears streaking her face and hurt in her eyes. Not only because of physical traits… she was just so much more appealing…

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today…"

Val. Val… and the kiss. Accidental, maybe, and Heather had never found out, but every time he heard those words, he would think of that. Heck, every time he heard anything… Val…

He didn't love Heather. He thought he did, but he didn't. She was cruel and rude and annoying and not right for him at all. He didn't love her. He loved Val.

"Heather Elizabeth Stillmore, do you take Tyler Robert Connell for your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad, until death do you part?"

"I do," said Heather. The priest turned to him.

"Tyler Robert Connell, do you take Heather Elizabeth Stillmore, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad, until death do you part?"

"I…" Now or never. He didn't love Heather… or did he? Val… Val… He was in love with her. Val, that was. He was head over heels in love with her. "I…" He looked at Val, who seemed to have suddenly stopped crying and now was looking intently at him. Val? Yes. Heather?

"No," he said softly, murmuring to himself. The priest leaned forward.

"What was that?"

"No, I don't," he said, more loudly this time. Heather's jaw, along with everyone else's jaw in the room, dropped. "I don't love you as much as I thought I did, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you if I don't love you. There are others…"

And he turned and walked out the door.

Ooh, yay. Leaving Heather at the altar. Yippee! No, the title didn't fit. I just wanted to torture people. :-) Aren't I nice? Anyway, hope you liked! The next chapter will be started immediately… and yes, it will be longer. Okay? Bye!

---IVY


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